Of course, now I remember the main reason I don't travel by train more often: I don't like people all that much.

The woman who kept hitting me on the shoulder as she read a newspaper, even though she was sat the other side of the aisle: If your paper is so big that you have to sit sideways in your seat and you're still in my space you shouldn't be reading it.

The bloke in the quiet carriage with ipod on so loud that I can't hear the Today Program through my in ear headphones: You are an arsehole.

The couple in front of me discussing the ipod arsehole: Shut up! you're making even more noise than he is! Quiet Coach = Shuddup.

That little thug walking through a crowd at New Street Station deliberately colliding with people: I saw you coming, that hurt you when you got to me didn't it? 120kg doing 6 mph Vs. 70kg doing 4mph = I win.

The rest of you: do you brush your teeth in the morning? Seriously...