I have learnt two things so far tonight and it's only 7.30pm.

The first thing I have learnt is that just because you only spent £2.80 on it you don't necessarily have to drink a rough red wine. The South Eastern Australian Red you get from Tesco is actually alright, it's not quite a '95 Chateau Margaux, but it does a pretty good job of taking the edge of a painfully monotonous day in Northampton.

The other thing I have learnt is that Five-year-olds just don't appreciate the greatest hits of Massive Attack no matter how hard you try to persuade them that they are so.damn.good. If you are five then you'll probably much prefer "Maggie and the Ferocious Beast", the youth of today have no taste.