I had a "deluxe room" at the hotel I stayed in last night, it had such wonderful features as:
- A floor that squeaked so loudly that it actually scared me when I walked in to the room.
- Curtains that were not quite wide enough to cover the window (after having to fight them closed in the first place)
- A TV that didn't have channel 5 (so I missed CSI)
- A bathroom that smelt of blocked drains
- Tiles in the bathroom that were about to fall off
- Tiles in the bathroom that had fallen off and been replaced different tiles (different colours and patterns)
- A knob to turn the shower on which fell off in my hand
- A cracked bath
- A bath panel made of hardboard
- Black grout between the white (ish) tiles, although I suspect it was white once.
- Decor from the forties (I don't mean retro, I mean actually from the forties)
- An enchanting view of the rear of the kitchen complete with bins and (surprisingly) old mopeds.
- Cobwebs on the light fittings.
You know, sometimes you just have to treat yourself* don't you?
* In my case I'll opt for a strong Fungicide