I know my way around cars, I'm not a great mechanic but I did an engineering apprenticeship and I have enough interest in cars to know what goes where and what does what. I've rescued many stricken cars over time, changing wheels, batteries, brake shoes and pads etc.

So, Clare's car breaks down and I'm 150 miles away, no big deal as she was close to home and taxis were around to help with the chores (like getting the shopping home). We decided that we didn't want to leave the car overnight where it was because of a vandalism problem in the area. Still no problem, I can get home in a couple of hours and either fix it or tow it home...

When I got to the car it was pretty clear that it was a completely flat battery, easy job, I've got jump leads. With a bit of deft driving on my part I got my car facing hers and bonnets up. Now, here's the problem... It's dark and it's pissing it down out there... I couldn't find the battery on my car! Under the bonnet are a load of black plastic covers and the only light I have is from the screen of my Nokia... I pried up all the covers but no battery!! A look in the owners manual gave me this useful info:

"The battery is located in the engine compartment or in the rear of the car"

Great!

Well, I had checked the whole of the engine compartment and it wasn't there so the only thing for it was to empty the boot of half a ton of railway gear and lift up the floor covering... No battery!

Being a man I wasn't about to be asking for help, but Clare collared a chap with a similar car (who also happened to work for VW..) and he sorted the problem. The battery is hidden under a cover in the scuttle, that's the bit the front screen wiper stick out of.

Useless manual!!! Top bloke for helping me jump start it too as the terminals on Clare's battery were covered in grease and dirt and it was hard to get a connection.